Relationship Equity Coach • Researcher • Master Celebrant
I See the Pattern. I Name It. Then We Change It.
I’m Felicia Kashevaroff. Founder of Tend Task, certified relationship coach, active researcher in modern partnership dynamics, and the person who will say the thing no one else will say, and then help you do something about it.
Why "Tend Task"?
The name reflects a philosophy, not just a methodology.
Tend is the emotional labor — the nurturing, attunement, and care that keeps two people genuinely connected. For too long, this has been treated as one person’s job.
Task is the cognitive labor — the planning, anticipating, and managing of a shared life. For too long, this has also been treated as one person’s job.
When both partners fully share both — not just the tasks, but the thinking, the noticing, and the caring — that’s when a partnership becomes something exceptional. That’s what we build here.
The Work Started With My Own Story
I know this work because I’ve lived it. I spent years in an unequal partnership carrying the invisible labor — the mental load, the emotional weight, the planning and anticipating and managing that nobody sees or names. My partner’s career flourished. Mine stalled. His dreams expanded. Mine quietly shrank. It happened slowly, without my conscious understanding — the way these patterns always do.
That experience sent me on a mission. I broke the pattern, rebuilt from the ground up, and then spent years researching exactly why it happens — to me, to couples who love each other, to people who genuinely believe in equality. What I found: good intentions aren’t enough. The conditioning runs deeper than words can reach. You can’t communicate your way out of unconscious bias.
Traditional relationship prep doesn’t mention the mental load. Couples therapy rarely addresses the unconscious patterns or structural forces driving the imbalance. The books collect dust while the patterns calcify. I built Tend Task because I refuse to let you lose yourself the way I did — and because I know exactly what it takes to build something different.
As Seen In
The Tend Task Framework:
Root + System + Ritual
Most approaches to relationship work give you surface-level tools and hope they stick. I go deeper. Every engagement with Tend Task is built on three layers:
Root
You can’t change what you can’t see. We uncover the unconscious beliefs, inherited patterns, and gendered conditioning that are shaping your relationship without your consent — and replace them with something you’ve actually chosen.
System
Good intentions aren’t enough. You need actual frameworks for sharing the mental load, making decisions equitably, and sustaining balance under pressure — when you’re exhausted, overwhelmed, or navigating a major life transition. We build those systems together.
Ritual
Systems keep things equal. Rituals keep you connected. We design meaningful practices — from daily touchstones to the ceremony itself — that carry your values into the reality of life together and remind you why you chose this partnership.
Credentials & Training
The Tend Task methodology combines cutting-edge relationship science with practical, real-world solutions. My work is grounded in:
Advanced Certifications & Training
- ICF Certified Relationship Coach
- Master Celebrant & Ceremony Designer
- Gottman Method Trained Professional
- Organization and Relationship Systems (ORSC) Certified
- Conflict Management Specialist
- Active researcher in modern partnership dynamics
Current Research
Understanding Modern Partnership Dynamics
I’m currently leading a groundbreaking study examining how high-achieving individuals navigate modern relationships, with insights from over 80 participants and growing. My research reveals key findings about partnership dynamics in ambitious relationships.
Key Research Areas & Findings
Power Dynamics & Gender Roles
Our research shows that modern couples are actively challenging traditional relationship structures, developing unique strategies for maintaining equity. While many couples are making conscious efforts to create balance, we’ve found that mental load disparities persist, particularly in heterosexual partnerships – even when both partners are high achievers.
Impact of Proactive Support
A significant finding shows that 45% of participants have engaged in couples therapy, with the most successful outcomes occurring when couples use it proactively rather than reactively. This insight has deeply informed our approach to relationship coaching and premarital work.
The Ambition Factor
Our research reveals a distinct “ambition gap” affecting partnership dynamics. High achievers often struggle to find partners who match their drive for growth and success, leading to unique challenges in building equal partnerships that support both individuals’ aspirations
Emerging Insights
The study has uncovered fascinating patterns around neurodiversity in relationships, the impact of proactive relationship support, and the evolution of power dynamics in modern partnerships. These findings directly inform our coaching methodologies and tools.
*Research participants include diverse relationship stages (57% married, 17% single, 8% partnered, 5% separated, 10% divorced, 3% engaged) and family structures (63% with children, 10% LGBTQIA+).*
Ready to Build Something Different?
You’ve seen the pattern. You know something needs to change. Let’s figure out where to start.