Get Your Own Life Back: A 90-Minute Live Workshop

FOR THE WOMAN WHO HAS SPENT YEARS TRYING TO GET HER HUSBAND TO SEE IT

Get Your Own Life Back

Put yourself back at the center of your life, in this relationship or the next.

— WITHOUT BLOWING IT ALL UP, FEELING GUILTY, OR TRYING TO CHANGE HIM.

You can spot the patriarchy in your marriage from space. In 90 minutes, you’ll learn how to stop it from running your life, whether he ever changes or not.

📅 Tue, Nov 17 · 5pm PT / 8pm ET · Zoom · Replay included

You did everything right.

You are good at things. Genuinely, demonstrably good at them. You have built a career, managed teams, and solved problems that stumped everyone else in the room.

You are the person other people come to when they don’t know what to do.

Except for this.

In the most important relationship in your life, you are out of moves.

You are shocked and embarrassed that you’re here.

You chose carefully. You watched your mother try to manage it all and burn herself out, and you promised yourself you would choose better. You married a man who called himself a feminist. He said all the right things to make you believe he would be a good partner.

He still doesn’t know the pediatrician’s name.

Without a single conversation where you agreed to it, you became the person who holds everything together. The calendars, the appointments, the mental inventory of what’s running low, what’s coming up, and what will happen if nobody handles it.

You've tried to get him to see it.

Reasonably, creatively, desperately.

You’ve had the conversation in your most patient voice and your least patient one. You’ve sent him the articles, the podcast episodes, and the comic about the woman who should have asked. You’ve sat across from a couples therapist. You worked through the Fair Play cards. You made the lists, built the systems, downloaded the apps.

Teaching your husband about the patriarchy is invisible labor too, and it’s the worst job because the needle never moves. He says he understands, but then nothing changes.

The conditioning you can see so clearly in him is running you too. It’s the reflex that treats his growth as your responsibility and puts anything that matters to you first in line for the chopping block.

As long as your energy goes into fixing him, your own life stays on hold. Your own conditioning is the ONLY part you can actually change, and it’s where you get your life back.

Whether you stay or go, your conditioning comes with you.

You fantasize about leaving. But you’re staying because divorce is unknown: the money, what people will say, the grief. And because you were taught that a good marriage is how a woman gets a good life.

Maybe you’ve already got one foot out the door and a plan to leave. The only problem is that the habits that have you doing everything in this marriage will pack their bags and move out with you. The next man will walk right into them.

If you ever want to have a happy, healthy, equal partnership with a man (this one or someone in the future), you have to untangle your own patriarchal conditioning first. This workshop is the first step.

Here's what it's costing you.

It follows you into the meeting where you said it first and Greg got the credit. It follows you into the doctor’s office, where you apologized for knowing your own body.

And it’s costing you the life you know you deserve:

The life where your morning run used to be the best part of your day. Now your shoes sit by the door and you walk past them every morning.
An uninterrupted hour to dance, paint, write, or do any of the things that fill your soul.
The business you launched was supposed to help you escape from the corporate hellscape, but now gets none of your time.
The graduate degree you've dreamt of that is taking three times as long as it should because you keep dropping classes to put out fires.
The friendships that used to be your lifeline: the weekly happy hour where you laughed until you cried, the friend trips that didn't take months to plan.

When your life is yours again.

Once you’ve deconstructed your conditioning, it no longer makes your choices for you. Here’s what that looks like:

You lace up for your morning run, and you listen to your music and hit your rhythm without worrying about what is waiting for you when you get home.

You block an hour to paint or write, and you keep it.

Your business gets real hours every week and you get to leave the corporate grind with confidence.

You finish your degree on schedule, at the head of your class, where you belong.

Happy hour is back on your calendar, and the friend trip to that cute summer camp for women in a French chateau is already booked.

You stop trying to convince him of anything. When he asks where the swim bags are, you tell him, “They’re where they’ve always been,” and go back to your book without feeling guilty.

Whoever you’re with, you stay at the top of your own list. You stop waiting for permission to meet your needs, in this relationship or the next.

I’ve been there.

I’m Felicia Kashevaroff.

Certified evidence-based relationship coach. Founder of Tend Task. Co-builder of Tend, the first invisible labor tracking app.

I studied sociology. I wrote papers on gender oppression. I was entirely convinced I was too smart to fall for the trap.

Then I got married, had three kids, and found myself standing in my bathroom staring at a toilet seat left up again. He simply did not think it was his job to notice. I became the exact case study I used to write about, and I was deeply ashamed that I let it happen.

I tried every communication framework on the market to try to change my husband. I even built an app to convince him the problem was real. None of it worked, because the problem had nothing to do with communication.

Getting divorced let me breathe. It didn’t give me my life back. I was still the one noticing, anticipating, and rearranging my plans around everyone else. Shared custody made that infinitely worse.

My life became my own when I finally deconstructed my conditioning. I built Tend Task so you can do that work right now, without permission or buy-in from a single man.

“Felicia’s coaching strategy is for you to develop your own path with full ownership so you have the tools for long-term sustainability. Having Felicia on your team is not a luxury. It’s a must.”

“Felicia! You are a godsend. You go on my list of people who have saved my life. Thank you so much for your brilliance and insight.”

“Felicia helped me learn to stop in my tracks and choose differently to produce a different outcome.”

What we're breaking down in the workshop.

This is not another workshop where you analyze the feelings wheel until you’re blue in the face, and it is not another communication strategy for getting your husband to take you seriously.

In 90 minutes, we’ll unmask the conditioning that has been running your life, look at why everything you’ve tried has failed, and map out the three-part framework that works. Then we’ll open it up for live Q&A so you can ask about your own situation. You’ll walk out with:

How it's running in you: Exactly how gendered conditioning took hold in your daily life, so you can stop blaming yourself for doing everything right while your calendar belongs to everyone else.
Why nothing has worked: Why Fair Play, chore charts, organizer apps, therapy, and every effort to get him to change never touched the problem, and how they kept you working for the system instead of for yourself.
Exactly what does: The three-part framework that deconstructs the conditioning itself, so you can stop carrying the mental load for him, stop trying to make him see it, and put your time, your body, and your ambition back at the center. Whether you stay or go.

You are not going to spend another year running a household fueled entirely by your energy.