WRITTEN BY Felicia Kashevaroff
5 Urgent Tips When You Need Relationship Advice Now
We all go into our relationships with the best intentions. Our goal is to build a beautiful life together, but more often than not, life has a nasty habit of getting in the way. Life is hectic. Jobs, families, endless to-dos, our own health, and well-being, the list goes on and on. If we’re not careful, our relationships can get sidelined. When that happens, the relationship suffers. We might become irritated or disconnected. We might feel like our partner isn’t listening, doesn’t care, or simply isn’t there for us in the way we had hoped. If your relationship is feeling more shaky than secure and you’re thinking, “I need relationship advice now!” — then we’re here to help.
At Tend Task, we believe in tending to each other, not just the endless tasks life throws our way. Sounds nice, doesn’t it? And hence,
Here are five simple tips when you urgently need relationship advice now:
1. Communicate, Communicate, Communicate!
No surprise here. Communication is at the core of all healthy relationships, but most of us don’t know how to communicate effectively, especially when the stakes are high like they are in our relationships. We might ignore our own needs, wants, and desires to avoid difficult conversations, or we get defensive and blow up when our partner offers feedback. It’s tough to change these patterns, but not impossible. Try these techniques to improve your communication immediately:
- Start by practicing simple centering techniques to calm yourself before initiating a tough conversation. Here’s a 5-minute grounding meditation that I love.
- Pause and take a moment to remember that our partner is our ally, not our enemy.
- Ask yourself if you’re making up a story about your partner’s intention. Check-in with them to make sure you really understand what they’re saying.
- Be patient! It takes time to improve communication patterns. We all have to start somewhere.
2. Build a Shared Vision
A shared vision for the future is critical in making sure you and your partner are aligned. So often we make assumptions that our partner wants the same thing we want, but without a clear plan, those assumptions can add up to major resentment. To avoid disappointment and resentment, we recommend the following approach:
- Take the time to define your shared values. Determine what’s really important to each of you. Where do you align with your partner? Where do you differ?
- Discuss how you want to apply those values to your future together. It’s exciting to dream together about the big goals you want to achieve, but it’s so important to break those goals down into small, achievable steps.
- Get clear about the roles each of you will play in achieving your overall goals. What are you willing to sacrifice for the grand plan? Where do you need support? How do you proceed when something obstructs your plans?
Keep in mind, this vision is a SHARED one, so both of you should consistently contribute while staying focused on the goal.
3. Cultivate Teamwork
The most successful couples see themselves as a team. They share their challenges and successes with one another, and they always have their partner’s back. Once you have your vision in place, it’s much easier to see how much faster you can achieve your goals by approaching life as a team. Here are some ways to enhance the sense of teamwork in your partnership. (insert internal link to teamwork blog – can’t access website)
- Become your partner’s #1 fan – sometimes, we lose sight of what attracted us to our partner in the first place. List your favorite qualities and characteristics, then share them with your partner. It feels so good to know exactly what your partner loves about you!
- Stand together – is your partner’s family hyper-critical of them? Or is their boss always on their back? Be their safe place to share feelings and frustrations. Avoid problem-solving and listen and support with love and curiosity.
- Avoid the manager/employee dynamic – you’re both adults, and you’re both responsible not only for those big goals we talked about, but also the mundane details that keep our lives running smoothly. It’s a total drag to remind a grown person to take out the trash or move the laundry from the washer to the dryer. Take equal responsibility for your shared life together and save the power dynamic for the bedroom where it belongs!
4. Embrace the Fun
Life can be so serious. Having fun with your partner is a great way to connect beyond everyday tasks. There are so many opportunities to add fun into your life, but it takes effort!
- Try a new sport or hobby. Pickleball? Pottery? Wine tasting?
- Go to see a new band together, or just put on some music and have an impromptu dance party!
- Play a video game you loved as a kid or try something new like axe throwing.
Pick something different and exciting to break yourselves out of the chaos of everyday life.
Research shows that playfulness in relationships can lead to higher self-esteem and greater relationship satisfaction. There’s even some evidence it can improve your sex life. It seems worth a try for that alone!
5. Invest in Professional Guidance
These tips might sound simple, but it’s hard to undo years of patterned responses in your relationship. If you’re struggling to make changes, try investing in professional guidance. A relationship coach can help you and your partner to change your patterns and accelerate your progress toward a more peaceful partnership.
Talking about your relationship can be tricky, and asking for relationship advice is even trickier. Most people get stuck because they think they SHOULD know what it takes to make their relationship healthy and strong. It’s easy to think that love should be enough.
The truth is that most of us don’t have the skills we need to maximize the joy and passion in our relationships, so we get stuck. Getting relationship advice to help can get us past stuck and help us grow into a relationship that is meaningful and fulfilling.
But UGH, who wants to lay out our dirty laundry to a stranger??? That can feel vulnerable and bring up feelings of shame and failure in lots of people, but I suggest we reframe that.
As an athlete, no one would be ashamed of bringing in a coach to maximize their performance. Having a coach means that you want to go from good to GREAT! It means you prioritize your sport, that you want to up your game to the next level, and perform at your absolute best. The same is true for a relationship coach.
A relationship coach helps you go from a fine relationship to a fantastic one, one where you’re a killer team and your best self, all at the same time. An expert who can preach relationship advice creates a SAFE SPACE where you can learn and grow from each other, finding strategies to mitigate your weaknesses and amplify your strengths.
Our non-judgmental, solution-focused approach at Tend Task is designed to help you communicate better, build balance, and create a lasting relationship.
Curious about what it’s like to work with a coach or getting relationship advice? Here is what one of my clients said about their experience.
“My coaching experience with Felicia completely revolutionized communication in my marriage. She was able to take my thoughts and feelings and verbalize them in a way that my partner could understand and receive, which helped bridge the gap.”
Ready to Transform Your Relationship? [Get Relationship Advice today👇]
Life’s too short to settle. If you’re nodding and thinking, “I need relationship advice now,” then it’s time to take action!
Sign up for a FREE discovery call with us today. Let’s explore how Tend Task can help you nurture your relationship, communicate effectively, and enjoy your life together. We can’t wait to connect to help you with relationship advice that you may need.